Gender Bias in Children’s Toys

As a little girl growing up, Toys R Us was a magical land that could do no wrong, but as an adult I started to question everything. Ever notice how Toys R Us had sections whose colors were geared to the gender they were trying to appeal to? The Barbie section was one giant wall of pink, and you likely couldn’t have found a pink Tonka truck in the construction section to save your life. Hmmm…not a coincidence.

Years later, when I became a teacher, I didn’t think twice about boys playing with dolls in the dramatic play center or little girls buying books about construction at the book fair…but I had a handful of parents who were none too thrilled. So let’s talk about it.

Parents, what exactly are you afraid will happen if you let your son play with a doll? Because I would argue that allowing him to do so will teach him to be a better father, or at least one who doesn’t find changing a diaper or brushing their child’s hair odd or taboo.

And so what if your daughter doesn’t want to play with dolls but instead is into every matchbox car, construction vehicle, and/or train in sight? Maybe she’ll grow up to be an architect or an engineer, and if you ask me, the balance is the most beautiful thing in the world.

My own child may not be pictured here, but I felt so proud when this little one picked up a construction toy and started digging. It’s a simple reminder that before we label anything as a “girls’ toy” or a “boys’ toy,” that toys are just toys to the children that are actually playing with them. Period.

So the next time you consider buying the pink Lego set for your daughter without asking her which color she prefers, I want you to consider why you’ve made that choice, and the (possibly unintended) message it’s sending.

Similarly, when your son picks up a doll and starts feeding it, try to breathe through the moment if it makes you uncomfortable and just watch quietly. You might learn something from your little one who at this age, likely knows no bias.

It might not be how we grew up, but that’s ok. When we know better, we do better. I’d like to think we’re all exercising a little of both.